Here's looking atchoo, sweedhaaht.

Okay, now I need to write something happyish to make up for that Sylvia Plath post. 

I don’t know.  It was raining. 

Anyway…

So I guess my next endeavor is to start looking for gainful employment.  Around here?  Hopefully.  Other coast?  Perhaps.  I just don’t know anymore.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it here so much that my heart shrinks up into a little wrinkled raisin when I think about having to leave, but my stupid brain (oxymoron – or is it?) keeps telling me how impractical it is to count on finding a job right away that will allow Gary and me to live the way Gary and I like to live.  (Yes, I did in fact use “me” and “I” correctly in that sentence.  Feel honored in the presence of the Empress of English.)

That's like where there’s a yard and a fence and a garage for a car (and a small sailboat?) and preferably no one living on the other side of the wall.  (You can do that in the boroughs, I hear.)

Then again, I’m game for whatever – if the potentially less-than-satisfactory living conditions are only temporary.  Gotta start somewhere, and even on the west coast, I think we’d have to live in what might easily become known to us as the equivalent of a “half-way house”. 

[Ha!  Beagles!  I love Beagles – they always sound like they’re just DYING and “OOOOMG, HOOOLP me! I’m being tooooortured, sooomebody save me!” And then you look to see who’s torturing their dog (not unlike how you would look to see what kind of awful parent must be “torturing” their poor child inside the local Wal-Mart) …and it’s just a Beagle, like, barking and howling at…  NOTHING.  Absolutely nothing.  Haha I love Beagles.]

OK, back to the blog… [I’m sitting outside Effy’s Café right now doing some serious people-watching as I type this, so please don’t be offended if I stray from my point every now and then.]

So yeah, anyway I would very much

[Mmmm.  Strawberries.]

So yeah I would very much like to stay here, because Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, etc. just don’t seem to hold a candle to NYC, boroughs and all.  In Seattle & Portland, they don’t have boroughs; not boroughs like these, that are so damn cute and chock full of yogurty-goodness in the way of culture – no, Seattle and Portland have suburbs.  White suburbs, usually.  And not very cute.  Not even hip, really.  NYC boroughs are for hipsters, and families, and artists, and normal people, and crazy people, and [Really?  What exactly did you just honk at, Mister Taxi Driver, huh?  What do you want her to do, just evaporate into thin air?   Sheesh…]

So why would I want to leave this city [that is the tiniest dog I’ve ever seen – my cat would accidentally swallow that dog and urp it up as a rumpled furball] when there’s just no comparison.  NO comparison.

But ugh, SO expensive.  So.  Expensive. 

Why must I always want to obtain the unattainable?  Is it attainable?  Is it obtainable?  Is there a difference?  Obtain a job here that allows me to attain status as a resident of NYC.  Is that right?  [That’s a really nice breeze! …why is that man staring at me? oh yeah, he must be wondering if I’m a burned-out, “she must have let herself go” version of Lisa Kudrow.  Just smile and nod…] 

But I guess I won’t ever know unless I try for it.  So for now, I can do all these wonderful and fun and apprenticeshippy-type things all summer long – we’ve budgeted for that (at least I hope we have).  But once the summer’s over, I’m gonna have to either go back home to Dragstaff, or figure something else out, but I can’t just keep working for free.  I do hope I can find something apprentice-y (Tina Fey?  My Obi-Wan?  I can dream...) or perhaps land a job that allows me to do what I do best – anything that involves writing or film editing.  Wonder if I should [wow that’s a really pretty blouse] take a Final Cut Pro class while I’m here.  Or just dive into the newest release and take it to the next level on my own.  Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.  [there’s that tiny little dog again!  I would legally name him Rumple Furbian Upchuck and I would just call him “Chuck”.]

[Bus – big bus, with huge ad banner on the side; why do Weeds and The Big C always go side-by-side together on the bus banners?  I know it’s because they’re airing on the same network, but it’s kind of ironic actually when you think about it because a lot of cancer patients use weed to counter the effects of chemo.  And it's really cool that both of these series star really strong kick-ass women types.  That’s pretty awesome.  Women have come a long, LONG way on television since the days of Ozzie & Harriet.  I could so work for that network… Googling...  Oooh, what’s this?  “Showtime Networks Inc. careers”...  Bookmark.]

Back to the blog… my resumé has recently been given a good revamping, so perhaps it’s time to start sending it out.  NBC, Showtime, film producers, film studios, network studios, wherever.  Time to hit the virtual pavement I guess, and see which coast responds – and then perhaps the Universe will just tell me where I truly belong.  I just wish I knew whether I could live as comfortably in NYC as I could in Seattle or Portland – or if Seattle or Portland could be as dynamic and engaging as NYC, regardless of having the house with the picket fence and all that rot.  But... suburbs?  I think they'd kick me out for being too weird.  Or something.

[Nice ink, dude.  Spider webs.  And various types of spiders around the webs.  Ah!  More spiders – oh wait, he turned around – yes, more spider webs!  You wear it well, Good Sir.  You must be an ichthyologist or something.  Wait, that’s for fish.  Sounds like the study of spiders should be called ick-theology, just because, you know, it’s somebody who worships icky things.  But spiders aren’t all icky I guess.  Just mostly.]

[It’s a really pretty day today on the Upper East Side.]

[I want a black and tan.]

[I don’t feel like worrying anymore about whether or not I can stay here.  I just want to Be Here.  Now.]

[Time for a toasted ‘everything bagel’ w/ cream cheese from the Nice man who calls me “sweedhaaht”.]

[N=PF².]